


What more can I loose?

by Thaum



Series: Asgardians [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Feelings, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, fabric tape, rocket being rocket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 11:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thaum/pseuds/Thaum
Summary: Rocket didn't knew the god of thunder to be a masochist.A little extended Rocket - Thor conversation about reasons to live on. Because I like Rocket.





	What more can I loose?

"What more can I loose?"

The question seemed to go on forever after it had left Thors lips. It echoed from the walls of the ship and Rocket decided, that the look of utter resignation didn't go well with a man of his size. It had a rather disturbing quality. He sighed, watched down at his hands and opened his mouth to answer, to make a joke to light up the mood. He closed it again when Thor turned away, wiping tears from his good eye. No time for jokes. Instead he followed him to the other side of the room, pondering his next words carefully.

"The pain."

"What?"

"Everything you have, everything you are. The pain."

Thor stared at him.

"Why wouldn't I want to get rid of that? It would be a blessing, you have no idea, what you are talking about."

"It's a reason as good as any other to go on and fight. And it's more honest and true than a lot of other heroic crap I came accross. I don't know anything about you, but I trust in your pain and will follow you to whatever end. We all do, am I right Groot?"

The tree held up a hand. "I am Groot."

"You see."

"You trust my.. pain?" Thors voice sounded flat, somehow hollow like from very far away. 

Rocket shrugged his shoulders. "As long as you feel it, you remember who you are and where you come from. It makes you never to forget what has been sacrificed to make you standing here today. Believe me, you don't want it all go to waste and throw your life away. I surely don't want you to, I am rather fond of my fluffy ass I just attached to your fate."

Thor blinked and looked slightly irritated down at the talking racoon.

"You are a strange creature, do you know that? Too intelligent for your own good. And far more wise than a rabbit should be."

"Yes, I hear that very often. Story of my life. Not so sure about the rabbit part though."

For a while they stood in silence.

"My brother said almost the same to me, once."

"What, that you are a too intelligent rodent?"

Thors lips twitched.

"No. He has been the clever one and thought me rather stupid most times. Not so sure about the rodent part though."

Rocket grinned internally. At least the self declared god of thunder hadn't lost his sense of humour. Good. But too fast Thors face went grave again. 

"It doesn't matter, they are all dead. Mother, father.. Loki. Everybody that mattered is dead."

"Oh thank you very much, I like you, too. But of course, I am just a lower animal.. thing."

Rocket opened the panel in front of him and disappeared half in it.

"So.. Loki was his name, yes? Witty? Rude? A pain in your ass? I guess I like him, we would have gotten along quite well.. holy shit, is that fabric tape???" 

Thor snorted. "I don't think so. I heard you calling _me_ a pretentious git. You know nothing."

"At least I know a piece of fabric tape shouldn't be everything between me and space." A hairy hand appeared from under the panel, holding a loose wire. "And I need a few volts down here your highness. Would you be so kind..?"

Thor touched it and a little spark went through it, sending a jolt through the hand that held it. 

"Ouch.. thanks.. but yes, maybe you're right. You wanna talk about it?"

"Loki didn't tolerate many people around him apart from mother and me. And he stabbed me more often than I can count all the same." The huge man sighed and made a lost impression. "Norns, I wouldn't mind him doing it again."

Rocket reappeared, closed the panel and studied Thor for a long time with scrunched eyebrows until the former raised his arms questioningly. "What?"

The racoon opened another panel and dived into it.

"You shouldn't smile telling things like that. You shouldn't miss them. That's not normal. And frightening. Somehow. Dammit.. who constructed this ship, Noah? That's ancient.."

Silence.

"Sadly, I most literally could throw him farther, than I could trust him. He was so complicated, twisted, selfish and often so very, very angry. When I said, I wish I could trust him, he told me, I should trust his rage instead."

Rocket had reappeared once again and raised an eyebrow.

"His rage?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess: he stabbed you."

"You don't understand."

Rocket rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, I do. Your brother is right you know, you _are_ stupid. Kind of. Or maybe just blind at one side, like..", he trailed awkwardly off and cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"Maybe I am. But still, you don't understand. I didn't then. I didn't understand all his anger, where it came from. This rage.. it isn't just rage. It's feeling so much, that you wish to dissolve just to feel nothing because it threatens to tear you apart. It destroys you and you cannot help but need it. It burns and you don't know, if it's too hot or too cold. Fire and ice, bounded by this.. rage. That's what we've been for all our lives, it defined us. It defined me. I always thought it would until my very last breath. It's hard to tell what I am without it."

He slumped his shoulders and swallowed. "I never thought I would say that, but I would take all the bad things back a thousand times, and joyfully so. I miss him. I miss him so very much.."

Due to his regrettable lack off a third hand Rocket had a screwdriver in his mouth which he dropped now. He looked concerned.

"Mate.. that isn't rage you are talking about.. that is completely something else, that's.."

Thor gave a strangled sound and buried his face in his hands.

"I know, I know, I KNOW! DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW!??!"

A fist slammed into the main display, sparks flying all around. It gave a buzzing sound and went dark. He turned around and stomped away while Rocket flinched and watched him leave open-mouthed.

"Okay, calm down. I am sorry, I wasn't aware I was playing Captain Obvious. It's alright.. I have seen stranger things than that. In fact, I am one of them. No need to tear the ship apart. Nobody will judge you."

"JUST SHUT UP!"

Rocket searched blindly for his lost screwdriver on the floor, an annoyed expression on his face.

"OKAY! Nobody but you, obviously. It's _'rage'_ then! It's all the same to me for as long as it will keep us all alive! And thank you for destroying more of this prehistoric electronic devices, I don't have anything else to do than fixing everything you touch!"

He cursed something incomprehensible as he hit his head when he got up.

"And god or not, if you ever get suicidal again, I won't bother talking to you. I'll spare us all of this and just stab you as you seem to  _love_ it so very much!"

From the corner of his eye he noticed Groot throwing him an disapproving look that made him feel uneasy, but it lasted only to the moment Thor stopped dead in his tracks to grace him with an answer.

"FINE. Rabbits aren't supposed to talk, anyway. That's not _normal_."

Groot grunted, rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his video game.

"And they aren't supposed to repair spaceships! You know what? Strap it together with fucking fabric tape, because I DON'T CARE! I am not going to kiss your masochistic ass just because it sparkles! God of thunder.. pfff, really?" Rocket was yelling now, "WHO ARE YOU KIDDING??"


End file.
